Today’s a rough day for me.
I’m sitting in the OBs office right now on my 3rd draw of 4 for the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. I got word that my screen last week was higher than they’d like, so I’m having to do the longer test today.
It’s been hard on me – mentally, emotionally and now physically. I only have one arm with a good vein and let me tell you – three straight draws on the same vein feels fabulous. I’m also very weak from not having eaten or drunk anything since midnight. And I’m really cold now, too.
Mentally and emotionally I’m having a really hard time with this all since everything’s been great so far in the pregnancy. I literally am in the DR office for less than one hour at each visit because things are going well, but today’s a whole other story. I’m feeling like I’m a bad mom for the baby. I wonder if I’m taking good enough care of myself. I wonder if my diet is unhealthy for me & baby. I’m all in all feeling like a bad home for baby – and it’s a hard thing to feel being new to this mom & pregnancy thing.
Luckily, though, I’m supported. MT is here with me at the office, and although I know it’s uncomfortable for him, he lets me curl up in all sorts of weird ways on him to nap between draws. He constantly reminds me that I’m the best home that God would give to our baby, since God gave us our baby after all. He reminds me that he loves me no matter what, and that most importantly, I’m not alone in all of this. He’s right by my side…and I’m ever grateful.
I’ve also got some amazing friends who have been texting me today letting me know they are carrying me in prayer & love. And more than any of that, I have a God that reminds me all the time that I’m a beloved child of God’s and that this baby is even more beloved and protected than I can ever imagine. I know God has plans for this child and us as parents…and this is just another speedbump on the journey.
So thanks for taking a minute to read and pray for me – for us. I am grateful for your love & support…even if I am an emotional mess and can’t express it with the clarity that I feel in my heart for y’all. Thanks a million & more.
I’m grateful for friends & family, all the time, but especially on rough days.