Last night I received an update from Seth’s CaringBridge page that greatly upset me. It came after lots of wrestling with God’s on behalf of Seth this week, and it was not the news that I wanted to hear. Like God asked what I wanted. I know it is most definitely not what the Jenkins wanted to share.
“Friday: I woke up this morning in the PICU ready to charge the hill. After a short discussion is was clear that Seth was telling me that we have different plans.
During the night Seth began to pass blood clots from his rectum. Some of the blood was bright red and some dark suggestive of bleeding in both the upper and lower bowel. He has been transfused but continues to drop his hemoglobin. His platelets remain below 10k despite transfusion s every six hours. In his critical state there is not anything we can do about the bleeding. Seth can not tolerate surgery and quite frankly Wendi and I would not put him through a surgery. We have met with his Oncologist this afternoon and have decided it is time to let Seth finish his journey. I was pushing to win the race/battle but Seth has already crossed the finish line and was on a different track than I.
Tomorrow am we will move Seth to the hospice wing on the Oncology unit. The girls are going to come down and see him one last time. We wil then pray togther one last time as a family. Wend and I will sit with him until he crosses to the other side of God’s Kingdom.”
I went to bed angry…and heartbroken. God reminded me today that God’s in control, and for that I’m beyond grateful.
I’ve been holding the family close to me all day, probably closer than I should given the pastoral care training we get in seminary. Those just didn’t seem to apply or fit me today. This did, however.
Frederick Buechner wrote a prayer for his dying brother and its been my prayer today for Seth:
Deliver me from darkness into light, deliver me from pain into peace, deliver me from death into life.
Be with me and everyone that I love.
In Jesus’ name I ask it, Amen.
Short and simple, yet so appropriate and beautiful.
Seth was taken into God’s eternal kingdom today at 3:25pm. God answered this prayer today, and Seth is now in the light, free of pain and living again.
Praise be to God for the life of Seth Jenkins and the ministry of his family during pain and darkness.
Live in the light and peace, Seth. You are at home…and your family will be with you again soon enough. Peace…