There is never anything easy or comfortable about waiting. I’ll admit it, I’m impatient. It’s a virtue that God forgot to give me, I’m convinced. And that’s the just about the worst virtue to be without in the ministry.
A wise pastor friend reminded me of something that I already knew, but often need to be reminded: “God’s time is not our time…and sometimes God’s time takes a really LONG time.”
So why is waiting to hard? Why does it drive you to the point of wanting to scream sometimes when you’re so incredibly anxious? Why does waiting make you question your motives and/or “call” to do whatever it is that you’re busy waiting for?
My Thursday night Bible study ladies have a running joke about God speaking to us. So often we’re either too busy or too dense to pick up on God’s “speaking” to us, so we frequently tell God to “speak very loudly to me, please God!” Well, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately…and it seems that all I get from God is…Wait. Have patience. Trust me. You are not alone. I am here. Wait. That’s all fine and dandy and all, but it’s much easier to say and hear than do.
So, in order to be obedient to God, I wait. Quite impatiently. Quite uncomfortably. Quite restlessly. And all the while questioning if I’m on the right path.
I wait. It’s not easy. It’s quite painful. And it’s downright ugly at times too. But I am faithful and desire to be obedient to God. I want to clearly discern God’s Will for me and not Katie’s will for me. I will fight God on having to wait, but I will trust that God does really actually know much better than I know.
And I will trust in God, because I have not been led thus far to be left alone. I am not alone. God is with me. And God is asking me to wait.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV, daily verse for 10.12.09