my fabulous husband, Mason
I woke up this morning to hear Steven Curtis Chapman’s How Do I Love Her? on the radio. It’s a pretty powerful song about a man asking God to help him love his wife. As the morning’s gone on, I’ve allowed the song to marinate in my mind and some things have sort of clicked.
I’m a gift person. It’s probably one of my strongest love languages. I love to think of gifts for people, put them together, order them, give them and watch people open and enjoy them. I also love to receive gifts, but I love to give them more than anything. And my husband is not exempt from this behavior. In fact, aside from my parents and brother, he’s my #1 target! Well, I never quite understood why he doesn’t really get excited about the gifts that I give him. I mean, for Easter he got a round of golf at the Sea Pines Ocean Course and a side trip to buy a new driver, golf gear, and a brand spankin’ new bag. If I actually liked golf, I’d be stoked about such a gift. Don’t get me wrong, he was happy, but not nearly as happy as I’d expected/hoped for or even was to give it to him. Why does he not just jump for joy? (And why doesn’t he give me gifts in return…after all, it is my love language?!?) I just couldn’t get it all figured out, and I was spending a lot of time asking him if he liked the gifts, etc.
Then it hit me this morning, he likes the gifts, but it’s not his love language. (Actually, after being with him for nearly 10 years I still am trying to figure out his primary love language…and will settle for secondary…) Anyway, some conversations over the past few days all came crashing together this morning after hearing this song. I’ve finally realized that I can fulfill my love language needs while giving him something that is beyond invaluable to him, and me. I’m giving him a new type of gift now…prayer.
I know what you’re thinking…you’re in seminary and you’re just now figuring this out!?! Well, to be honest we do pray together and I pray for him too, but not in the way that I know can heal, bring peace, bring comfort, spread love and bring incredible joy. I’ve been doing the “surface prayers” with and for my husband. Today, I begin the soul shaking prayers for him. I will pray with him as often as I can, but more importantly I will pray for him. I will give him the gift of my love for him through prayer.
God has given me a great responsibility in being Mason’s wife, partner, lover. I am to love him with every bit of love I can possibly give, in hopes of him being able to see just a tiny glimpse of the love that God has for him. I am to pray for him and his needs. I am to support him and his ministry. I am to pray for him as he loves me. I am to pray for him as a partner in our marriage. I am to pray for him with passion, desire, love…and expectation.
And I’ve been doing a poor job of it all. I’ve been a less than supportive wife, but a highly expectant one. I can’t be that way. So starting this morning, I prayed for my husband with conviction, passion, love and expectation. I felt empowered and loved when I finished praying for him. And I realized how broken I am at being the wife that he needs. So I prayed for myself, too.
And my new gift to him, a prayer journal. I’ve never in my life kept a journal. And this is not your ordinary prayer journal, this is not a list of people to be prayed for and the date I prayed. Nope. This is a journal of my prayers for him. I have decided that in addition to my regular prayers/conversations with God, I will aim to at least once a week pray as I write a love letter to Mason. My love letter will be my prayer for him…all in a nice neat journal to give to him later.
This is my new gift to my husband, and to myself. I feel great about it already, and I’m so excited to give him such a meaningful and powerful gift. Heck, maybe I’ll even throw in a prayer every now and then for his golf swing…who knows. Either way, I think that this will be the ultimate gift that I can give the man I love more than myself.
Would you like to join me today in praying for Mason?
Today is a prayer for joy…
God of all love, I ask you today to fill my husband with your love and joy. I pray for him today that he would have happiness and joy. I pray that his heart would be filled with your love, and that it would overflow into his being in the form of joy. So often in the mundane of our lives we get bogged down in the demands of work, ministry, school, home-ownership, etc. We get bogged down in the stuff that can very quickly rob us of all joy. Especially when it’s time to pay the bills and such. Lord, be with Mason today and fill him with joy. We know that you do not promise us an easy road in life, but you do promise to be our companion and to meet our every need. My husband’s need today is joy, and an abundance of your love. I ask that you would grant him that as he goes about his day today…and every day. I humbly and graciously thank you, Lord. I thank you that I can come to you and pray on behalf of my husband and know that you hear my prayers. Thank you for your love, your peace, your joy, your faithfulness to us. And thank you for my husband, Lord. All of this I ask in your Son’s name, Amen.