unexpected
Ever since the day that we announced our pregnancy to my parents, Mama has said that she’s pretty certain we’d have a baby before our due date of November 20th, guessing around the middle of the month. I would just chuckle and let her feel good about her thoughts…until she was right, once again!
I’ve been getting emails weekly during the pregnancy from “What to Expect” with various tips about pregnancy, and most recently, labor. The email that came yesterday was about foods that induce labor. It has all sorts of witty remarks, none more entertaining to Mason & me as the following paragraph:
“To date, there’s no proof that these foods will start labor unless you’ve already begun to dilate. So you might just have to make the best of the waiting: Plan a night out. Wear a lovely outfit (it’ll be a long time before you get to wear a dry-clean-only dress again) and go to a super-fancy restaurant with your partner and maybe a few pals to enjoy one of your last nights out without a sitter. Make sure to order your favorite appetizer and main course — with an eye on the dessert cart to come. Sit down, relax, and get ready to take your first bite…if anything will bring on your water breaking, that will!”
We find this particularly entertaining because it’s nearly what happened to us. Knowing that we’d be having Baby very soon and that Mason had a youth retreat this weekend (yep, this very weekend) in Black Mountain, NC, we scheduled a date night on Thursday evening. We went out to eat at a new tapas restaurant, but ended the night with dessert at the Melting Pot, one of our favorite places to eat. The date ended with us heading home and working on another piece of artwork for Baby’s nursery before heading to bed. Friday was to be a busy day before Mason headed out-of-town for the retreat.
Needless to say, it didn’t turn out quite as we’d planned…
Early Friday morning, November 11th (at 12:18 am) one of my dearest friends and sorority Big Sis, Katie, had her first son Camp. I almost waited up for the news but fell asleep just before midnight on the 10th. I remember going to sleep thinking & praying that if I was going to go into labor on the 11th, that God please make it happen before 3:00 pm so that Mason would not already be on the road to NC for the retreat.
Be careful for what you wish, I believe, is how the saying goes…right??
Friday morning I woke up feeling “a little off” but didn’t think much of it and didn’t want Mason thinking I was just trying to get him to stay home for the weekend from the retreat. So, I went about my morning as we had planned. I showered and dressed, getting ready for a coffee meeting with a college student who was doing a favor for us. We went to coffee, and I apparently began contractions in the middle of coffee with Rachel. Of course, I didn’t know what it was, so as we left we changed plans of running our other errands and Mason was taking me home. I called the doctor’s office to ask the nurse a few questions about my symptoms and she told me to come in as soon as I could make it. So, our plans changed…we went home to pack up the rest of the bags, throw them in the car and head off to the doctor’s office.
By the time I got there one hour after my first contraction, I was contracting at about 2.5 minutes apart and my water had definitely broken…in stages. After my exam, it was determined that I was 3 cm dilated and they loaded me into a wheelchair and took me over to Labor & Delivery. One hour later, when Dr. Lyman came in to check me again, I was up to 5 cm. I had my epidural (praise the Lord!) and within another 2 hours I was dilated 8 cm. When my doctor came back in one hour later, I was fully dilated & fully effaced, so we tried some “practice pushes” which led to full-onset pushing. One hour later, Baby Todd was in the world and we were all of a sudden, parents!
Given that we were not expecting Baby so early, it’s been quite the unexpected blessing to have our son. Luke is arguably the cutest baby boy that I’ve ever seen. (And no, I’m not biased or anything…) He definitely takes after his Daddy in so many ways, and I’m overflowing with love for the two most handsome men in my life! I know that everyone says it, but I’m so in awe of how much love my heart can hold for someone so small and new. I tell him every time I see him (yes, we send him to the nursery) that I love him more than he can ever imagine…and almost as much as God loves him.
Luke is definitely the most wonderful gift I’ve ever been give. And what makes it even more sweet is that Luke arrived in God’s perfect timing for our family. We’ve enjoyed the past day and a half in the hospital as a new little family of three, and we can’t wait to share him with the world…after we get our fill, first!
Luke Daniel, welcome to the world!
We love you more than you know…and almost as much as God loves you.
introducing…
Luke Daniel
November 11, 2011
5:00 PM
7 pounds, 7 ounces
20.5 inches
the countdown is on
I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days now, but I’ve not really found the words to write. Last night when I came home from dinner with friends, we curled up on the couch to catch the Robin Roberts ABC interview with Keith Urban. Robin asked Keith to describe his wife Nicole and he had trouble, merely saying that there are no words. I’m glad that someone so prolific as Keith Urban sometimes gets tongue-tied like the rest of us mere mortals. He was absolutely right, though…there are no words to describe what life will be like in a few days when Baby is here, or to describe the swirl of thoughts and prayers going through my head now about this beautiful gift from God.
I know that I’ve expressed to some of my girlfriends that I’m slightly saddened by the idea of giving birth, not out of any unwant of this child, but simply that giving birth means the end of one phase of motherhood for me. I’ve been so busy and focused on other things for the majority of this pregnancy that it’s only been in the last two weeks, really, that I’ve been able to stop, put it all on hold and focus on me & Baby. Knowing that, and knowing that sooner rather than later we’ll be literally holding our baby, I’m sad that I haven’t really taken the time sooner to focus on just Baby & me. I know that things have prevented that, and I’m grateful to God every day that my life changed drastically in these past 3 months, but I’m still a little sad that this precious time of “just us” is coming to a close so quickly.
On the other hand, though, I’m starting to get very excited about holding Baby and sharing this beautiful child with my husband. Mason is so eager to meet Baby and is so excited to be a Daddy that it makes me excited about seeing him into this next phase of our lives together. It’s been beautiful for me to watch and experience him to talk to Baby daily and read our nightly Bible Story to Baby that I can’t wait for him to get to do that while holding our child. He’s also done such an amazing job putting together the nursery and artwork that I’m ready to share Baby with him and have Baby experience this beautiful oasis that his/her Daddy has worked so hard to create. I feel so blessed as a mommy-to-be by my husband and our Baby, that I just can’t wait to see how life changes for the more exciting for all three of us.
Not too long ago we took some time to BabyMoon to one of our favorite spots in the world, Charleston, only to realize that it had been over a year since either of us had stepped foot in the Low Country, and that it was Baby’s first trip to the Holy City. It was so nice to just relax, pamper ourselves some, stuff ourselves silly with food, and truly enjoy time just the two of us before we become 3. I’ve always wanted to do a BabyMoon since reading about it, but never thought we could afford one…thank you Restaurant.com & Groupon for helping us make it a reality for me. It was the most wonderful three days of this year, and it helped me to really start to focus on the here & now, and prepare for the next part of the journey.
While we were there we took a side trip to Pawley’s Island to visit a few of my favorite shops (one of which was closed that day to prepare for a Christmas open house the next day), and have some maternity pictures made with the wonderful Christa Harder of Christa Harder Photography. I’m not going to reveal all of the pictures, as some of them are just for us, but I’ll share some of the favorites that have already been made public on CHP’s Facebook page. Again, I didn’t think I could afford maternity pictures, but Christa was running a special “mini session” deal and I was able to make it happen. (Actually, she was able to make it happen for us!) Christa, if you’re reading this, thank you for the wonderful afternoon & for making it such a fun, relaxing and exciting experience for us. We are thankful to you for providing us with such a special token to remember this special time in our lives.
“Yes, honey…we are actually having a baby soon.”
the obligatory “heart on belly” maternity shot
one of my favorite of my adorable husband
Daddy reading to Baby the story of Jonah.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, and even Keith Urban can’t find the words to describe something, I guess I’ll just let it be with the pictures and my limited vocabulary to describe the way I feel about becoming a mother so soon. I pray daily that God will give me what I need to be faithful to God and my family in raising this child, so I’m reminding myself that keeping Christ as the foundation of our family will help us get a pretty good start on this parenting thing. I know it won’t be easy, and I know there will be many, many more nights on my knees, but I’m looking forward to being a Mommy to this child of God, knowing that it’s my responsibility to care for & love this Baby for as long as God blesses me to do so.
certified
As much as you might think it does, this post has nothing to do with my mental state about being a new SAHM. Give me a few more weeks & a little bit of credit here, folks.
Nope, this “certified” means that I’ve finally hit a milestone that has been six years in the works…I’m officially now “Certified Ready to Receive a Call” to Ministry of Word & Sacrament. Actually, we both are official now. This means that I can officially begin the search process for an ordained position in ministry in the PCUSA.
When we started school in September 2005, we had wide eyes and wishful dreams about the future for us in ministry…after all, we were just entering our very first of quite a few semesters (17 to be exact) in seminary. We knew that one day we’d graduate, and we hoped that one day our Committee on Preparation for Ministry would certify us, but it was a long way off and we weren’t really paying too much attention to it at that point.
Graduation came for us in April. It was quite surreal, until we received the diplomas and started being referred to as “alumni” by the Seminary. On Thursday night we meet with our CPM for our final consultation on this journey toward ordination, and they unanimously approved both of us and certified us as candidates awaiting a call! We can’t believe that this time has come, but now the rubber hits the road for me as a SAHM. I am now doing serious searches for ordained ministry opportunities, while really discerning where God is calling me to ministry.
One journey ends, and another begins. All I know is that I’ve made it to another huge step on this Ordination journey and I’m trying to remain open to God’s movement in my life for the next steps. Praise be to God for carrying me thus far on the journey, and praise be to God for continuing to carry me. I can’t wait to see where I end up!
baby registries
Okay, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been defeated. The baby registry has officially done it, too.
Give me a bridal registry and I can go to town all day long. Give me a baby registry, and I’m lost. Maybe it’s the pregnancy brain, maybe it’s the fact that it’s my first child, but no matter how many years of childcare experience I’ve had (from all ages), I seem to be defeated when it comes to the baby registry. It’s completely overwhelming!
To keep it simple, I decided to go with one store for the “essentials” and one boutique (maybe two) for the cute, fun stuff. Not that essentials aren’t fun…I mean, who doesn’t want a bouncy chair that vibrates…it’s just more fun to clothes & accessories shop than it is to wade through aisles of stroller/car seat combinations! Pshew!
Needless to say, with the guidance of some girlfriends who are new mommies & some great friends who are not-so-new mommies who physically walked me around the store, we ended up registering at Buy Buy Baby. The store has an easy layout, very similar to Bed Bath & Beyond (the parent store), it has a great selection, and best of all since it’s owned by Bed Bath & Beyond, it has the same coupon policy…AND you can use your Bed Bath & Beyond coupons at Buy Buy Baby! What’s not to love about coupons when shopping for essentials?!? Especially if those essentials happen to be strollers, car seats & furniture!
After surviving the essentials registry, I ventured into the world of fun…at my favorite Columbia Gamecock store, Miss Cocky. They actually don’t have a formal registry (as in you get a gun and scan items like other stores), but they were more than excited to let me come register for all sorts of baby Gamecock goodness! Mason even got in on the fun of picking out some pretty cute wares & accessories for the future little Gamecock. I was honored to be the first baby registry there, and they made the process so easy…shop for what you like & they’ll write it all down for you. The whole process took about an hour and I registered for way more that I thought they even had in the store – it’s a store chock full of goodness. They even told me to come back next week after their new shipment arrives so that I can add more cuteness to the registry!
Here’s just a sneak peek at the cuteness versus the essentials for which we’ve registered:
…and now, the essentials…
…etc.
See, isn’t the cuteness more fun than the essential? Although, baby does need a place to deposit the diapers & a place to bathe. Oh, and the car seat, too.
Ahh, the joys of planning for Baby!
catching up & what’s ahead
I know that I’ve got a lot of catching up to do with everyone, and I plan to do that in the next few weeks. It’s been quite the hectic summer with youth ministry full-time and all of the trips & events that go hand-in-hand with a ministry like that, but the summer is over and things are changing. I should be able to update more about what all I’ve been up to in life over the past several months, and most importantly – the only reason y’all read right now – about Baby Todd.
Part of the reason I’ll have more time is that I’m no longer at Philadelphia Presbyterian as the Youth Director. I’m taking time right now to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) without the baby, and spend time working on my PIF (Personal Information Form, in church speak) to do a search for an Ordained call. The church was a great learning experience for me about youth ministry, full-time ministry and more, but most of all, it really helped me to realize that I am truly called by God to ordained ministry, and in areas other than just youth ministry. Philadelphia was not going to be able to ordain me into the position there, and I knew I’d be looking sooner rather than later, so what better time – God’s timing is always perfect, right? – than now to spend time at home getting ready for Baby, searching for & discerning call options, and spending some much-needed time with my hubby.
Never fear, however…God has a funny sense of humor. I’m already getting booked very quickly to do some consulting & contract work at some Charlotte-area churches, including teaching Confirmation, writing & teaching curriculum resources, and even helping to fill in on Sunday nights at Youth events. I’m leading a Charleston Atlantic Presbytery youth retreat in February, so I’ve now got plenty of time (before baby comes) to work on the keynotes, worship & small group leader guides for that retreat, and I’m very excited about it all. I’m also going to be doing some more writing work for myself, and even some for the Seminary’s online resources, all of which makes me happy just thinking about having the time to make it happen. I have a friend that’s chomping at the bit for me to finish a curriculum resource I’ve started a while ago so that she can use it…since she already uses my stuff…so I’m sure that’s a project that will get done sooner rather than later. Heck, I’ve even been “contracted” to plan a two-year-old’s birthday party, too!
Most importantly, however, this time is going to give me the time that I need to focus on me. I’ve spent so much time over the last 7 years in ministry & work focused on everyone and everything except me, so I see this as God’s way of me taking care of me & God before I move on to the next big adventures in my life…baby & ordination. While none of this is taking place in my timing, because we all know how well God listens to me, I know that God’s timing is perfection and that all will be well, even if a bit tight and unsettling for a while. While I have always thought I wanted to be a SAHM, I also know about myself that I’m a busy-body and I alway need to be doing 5+ things at once. It’s time for me to slow down, focus on having some fun, doing some of what I love, and spend some good ol’ quality time with my family, my husband, my baby, myself and God.
It’s going to be difficult for me at times, so prayers will be greatly appreciated, but I’m excited to see what God has in store for me…us, during this phase of our journey. I’m grateful for what I’ve been given already, and I’m eager to see what lies ahead. (Just remind me of that when I start to go stir-crazy in a few days weeks.)
So, I guess I’ll be seeing y’all around these parts a bit more frequently.
Fasten your seatbelts because I’ve got quite the September & October already calendared…
“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”
- Jeremiah 29:11 (NRSV)
ever grateful
Today’s a rough day for me.
I’m sitting in the OBs office right now on my 3rd draw of 4 for the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. I got word that my screen last week was higher than they’d like, so I’m having to do the longer test today.
It’s been hard on me – mentally, emotionally and now physically. I only have one arm with a good vein and let me tell you – three straight draws on the same vein feels fabulous. I’m also very weak from not having eaten or drunk anything since midnight. And I’m really cold now, too.
Mentally and emotionally I’m having a really hard time with this all since everything’s been great so far in the pregnancy. I literally am in the DR office for less than one hour at each visit because things are going well, but today’s a whole other story. I’m feeling like I’m a bad mom for the baby. I wonder if I’m taking good enough care of myself. I wonder if my diet is unhealthy for me & baby. I’m all in all feeling like a bad home for baby – and it’s a hard thing to feel being new to this mom & pregnancy thing.
Luckily, though, I’m supported. MT is here with me at the office, and although I know it’s uncomfortable for him, he lets me curl up in all sorts of weird ways on him to nap between draws. He constantly reminds me that I’m the best home that God would give to our baby, since God gave us our baby after all. He reminds me that he loves me no matter what, and that most importantly, I’m not alone in all of this. He’s right by my side…and I’m ever grateful.
I’ve also got some amazing friends who have been texting me today letting me know they are carrying me in prayer & love. And more than any of that, I have a God that reminds me all the time that I’m a beloved child of God’s and that this baby is even more beloved and protected than I can ever imagine. I know God has plans for this child and us as parents…and this is just another speedbump on the journey.
So thanks for taking a minute to read and pray for me – for us. I am grateful for your love & support…even if I am an emotional mess and can’t express it with the clarity that I feel in my heart for y’all. Thanks a million & more.
I’m grateful for friends & family, all the time, but especially on rough days.
saying hi
A few weeks ago, at my 18 week appointment, the nurse asked if I had started feeling the baby move. I quickly told her no, because I thought I hadn’t. Especially since my previously-preggo friends said it felt something like “butterflies” or “feathers.” That’s what I was expecting, and I wasn’t getting any of that.
Later that weekend we were reading our nightly pregnancy journal and an entry spelled out the multitude of ways that a new mom can feel the baby move, most of the time without even knowing what was really going on. After reading, when Mason was talking to the baby “in whale…I want our child to be bi-lingual,” all of a sudden baby started kicking like crazy. I felt several movements back-to-back that felt like bubbles bursting (not popping, but bursting) and I just started laughing. I told Mason he was being too loud with baby, but he insisted not. Baby decided to either say “Hi” back to Daddy, or tell him to politely “can it.” Not sure which it was, but I know for a fact that it was baby moving and not just gas or butterflies.
When we went for our ultrasound last week, Baby was nice and comfy and not really allowing the nurse to see all of Baby’s parts like she needed to, so nurse Tammy started “jabbing” at Baby with the ultrasound wand. When I stopped laughing, I noticed that Baby really didn’t like that because I felt lots, and I do mean lots, of movements in response, all while we got to watch Baby’s little feet move on the screen. Confirmation.
Aaand…cue the tears & smiles.
I’m finally “feeling connected” to Baby myself, and it’s amazing to be sitting and feel Baby moving around. I know that it’ll start to get uncomfortable soon, but for now I’m enjoying our little game of saying “Hi” to one another. Baby kicks first, and I respond back with a poke and a “Hi, Baby!” Usually I’ll get another kick back, but sometimes, I think baby’s just got jittery legs right before (s)he falls asleep, much like Daddy. Either way, it’s a sweet feeling and I’m relishing it…for the time being.
yes, i’m going to brag
Here’s a recording from New Kirk’s worship service today of my very talented husband leading “In Christ Alone.” It’s a recording from the microphones, so it’s not a full-sound recording, but you get the idea. For those of you that missed our graduation service, Mason led the Union Presbyterian Seminary Choir in this song during the worship service. He was asked to reprise it today in worship at New Kirk.
I’m very proud of my husband and quite jealous of his talents, too!
Hope you enjoy…
the big question
Boy or Girl?
That is the big question these days. And I don’t know the answer. I won’t even be able to possibly find out the answer for another 3 weeks, but people keep asking anyway. And to tell you the truth, I don’t want to find out the answer to that question.
It’s driving my husband crazy. I’m perfectly okay with it.
He’s the Type Z personality. I’m the Type A+ personality.
The more I think about it, the more I have a desire to be totally surprised when I give birth. There’s just something wonderful about the idea of the OB rewarding you with “It’s a ____.” rather than just, “here’s your baby girl/boy.” I know, I’m totally shocking myself here too by not wanting to find out, but I just have incredibly strong feelings and actually peace about NOT knowing whether or not I’m carrying a boy or a girl.
This whole pregnancy thing has been something that I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl – I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I feel so honored and blessed to be able to carry and nurture a child that God is creating within me, that it doesn’t really matter to me if it’s a boy or a girl. I don’t care if I’ll be surrounded by estrogen or testosterone for the next chapters of my life, all I care about is the blessing that God is giving Mason & me in getting to love, nurture and raise this child of God’s for the time we are given with him or her.
So, for now I’m just really enjoying being a mom to whomever God gives to us. While Mason really wants to know the gender, he’s being incredibly supportive of my desire to not know and “we’re” not going to find out. At least, not right now.
Boy or Girl?
Guess we’ll find out in November.
